What Indianapolis Taught Me

I pray you will only learn from my mistakes.

Do not assume you are having a Pretty Woman moment when a policeman, homeless man, and businessman tell you you look nice while exploring the streets of downtown… Better to assume that the people in Indianapolis are just a lot more friendlier then you anticipated.

{Although, all I’m saying is if I ended up with someone like Edward Lewis from the movie, I wouldn’t hate it… Call me Vivian Ward anytime, any day.}

Acting like you have imaginary friends to talk to, when you’re really just taking a funny picture for your mom and sister will hinder you meeting any new real friends. It’s also not the smartest thing to do next to a bus stop. 

{Just embrace the stares, it’s all about the moment.}

If you do happen to convince some poor strangers to have lunch with you in the attempt to make new friends, don’t order a kid’s meal. Just don’t. You’re not as cool as you think you are. Plus, you’ll be a lot more hungrier later, and then before you know it, you’ll be watching Nashville and eating ice cream alone in your hotel room at 1 in the morning…

Don’t go to a popular brewery and order a martini at the bar.  You will be watched, judged and condemned the whole time you are there. BUT, if the martini is as good as I know they make them, it might just be worth the persecution...

{Speaking of Martinis–-note to self, if you ever travel to Indy, they do NOT have happy hour on drinks. Obviously Indianapolis is not a part of America. It's whatever.}

When you travel to the North and tell people you’re from Arkansas, make sure and preface that you do not date your cousins, do not wear overalls {although I try to buy some ALL. THE. Time. But nobody will support me in that endeavor}, and you have all of your teeth. Apparently Arkansas is still considered uncivilized in some circles.

Really pray about your food choices. Just because you’re in a big city does NOT mean you throw basic nutrition out the door. After eating french toast, a piece of pizza, a bag of popcorn, fried chicken egg rolls, and cake in one day, I will be the first to tell you that you might not regret it while you’re basking in the taste of spices, sugars and fat, but you WILL regret it when you go to bed that night in fear you might not wake up the next morning from your sugar-carb-salt hangover. Just remember to check yourself before you wreck yourself.

And if you’re in Indianapolis to attend a women’s blogger conference, be prepared for a sea of top knots, Warby Parker glasses, and baby bumps. Make sure you can relate to one of those three areas-–if you’re not preggers, top knot challenged, and have perfect eyesight… well, just good luck. I would suggest investing in a husband, bumpit, or some fake glasses from Wal-Mart pronto before your next meet-and-greet.

And finally, if you decide to jump on the bandwagon of wearing red-lipstick, make sure and have a mirror in front of you. Don’t just apply it in the heat of the moment, or you’ll end up looking like half of your mouth is bleeding. NOBODY will want to approach you then.

Thanks Indianapolis.

You were a real growing experience.