Hey Guys, Remember Me?

Listen, I know I know... It's been awhile.

Believe me when I say that going off the blog-radar this long wasn't intentional, or even something I wanted. I mean I KNOW just how much everyone wants to know about my life these days & all the fun adventures and lessons I've learned the last past couple of weeks I've been AWOL.

{Because hhheeelllllloooo, it's me. I'm awesome. JKJKJKJK #youloveme}

See … Obviously your life has had a lot less smiles in it without me.

It's not that I gave up on my blog, but simply that my words gave up on me. Being creative is hard. Writing about your life is even harder. I tried sitting down to write multiple times, yet every time I opened my computer, words eluded me & I simply struggled to form a coherent sentence about what I've been thinking about these past couple of months.

Since the New Year, I have had the intentions of writing a blog on New Year Resolutions, {since that topic is so relevant and cool...at least it was two months ago?…woof.} and now we're wrapping up February, and I'm just now finding the words to shape what I've recently been feeling about it all.

In our culture today, New Year Resolutions are a BIG thing—they are what we use to direct us and motivate us throughout the year. They are what push us to chase after our dreams, or make a difference, or positively alter our lives. We wait until the New Year to start our fresh start because there’s something about 365 days in front of us that gives us more purpose & motivation to reach our goals.

So we create lists.

As much as I love making lists, I’ve struggled to make one for my own personal New Year Resolutions. 

Unless "showering more" is considered life-altering?


But seriously... That resolution was per request of my boyfriend. {Still praying if this is something I want to take on this next year or not...} Also the desire to plan out my grocery visits better beforehand so I stop forgetting things... and better self-discipline on laundry days when it comes time to match up my socks before putting them in my drawer…

People, obviously you can tell I'm struggling over here.

There's something about the New Year that leaves me with a jumble of mixed emotions. One moment I'm toasting to 365 days of new adventures and lasting memories, and then the next I'm mourning what I had invested in for so long that now feels lost & forgotten. I went to bed on New Year's Eve clinging and savoring what 2014 gave me, and woke up in 2015 with what felt like a broken compass in front of me and a stomach full of champagne & anxiety.

How do you let go of something that left such a lasting impression on your life?

So I didn't move up a bra size or stop eating three sweets a day in 2014 like I wanted to...

{There's always next year!}


DID travel to three new cities, explored four countries with my two best friends, danced in a club with LeBron {freakin'} James, moved in with my first roommate that I was NOT related to, coached a 1st and 7th grade basketball team, crossed off bucket-list concerts like Kings of Leon, couched surfed for two weeks with complete strangers, and bought my first car {totaled it, and then bought a new one--but whose really counting anyways...}, and countless other impactful memories that made me laugh, cry, and grow.

If you know me at all, you know that I liked to have my weeks packed full with plans. I'm constantly going, constantly adventuring, and constantly building relationships. So naturally I packed 2014 to the brim with travel, adventures, parties, and time soaking up friendships and building new relationships. As much as I enjoyed 2014 {believe me, it was my favorite year yet}, one thing I'm starting to realize is just how exhausted I am from it. 

Instead of using the New Years to create lists that will fill up my days full of activities based on my own desires for the future, I've decided to stop trying to plan out my months day by day, and instead focus more on slowing down & focusing on the basics. Basics that will still impact my life, but hopefully also impact those around me as well.

 I've decided to focus on doing basic things I need today, instead of only thinking about things I want for tomorrow. I can't control what the future looks like, but I can better prepare myself for what it has in store for me. 

Basics that are all about how God asks me to live, versus how I THINK my life should look like. 

"Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Be joyful.

Be a Prayer Warrior.

Give thanks in both the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

So maybe I don't know where I want to travel this next year... So maybe I don't know have a plan to run x amount of days every week... So maybe I don't have any idea on where I'll be 6 months down the road... So maybe I don't have a goal to abstain from eating my body weight in desserts every day...

So maybe 2015 will look NOTHING like 2014...

I'm finally ok with that.

I pushed and pushed myself last year to accomplish what I wanted out of life. This year I want to push myself to draw closer to God so I can learn what HE wants of me in this life. There's no better way I can think of doing that then waking up every morning and choosing joy...  connecting & building my relationship with God through prayer... and learning what true thankfulness looks like.

Maybe God made me exhausted because He knew I couldn't do it on my own any longer... Maybe He took away my words, because he knew I would automatically try to start planning out my life once the New Year rolled around. Regardless, it's two months into 2015, and although my list of New Year 'Resolutions' aren't typical, I have no doubt they'll direct me through this year & impact me in ways that I'll always remember.

Talk about life-altering.