How To Date A Twin

I once read a Wiki-How on "How to Date a Twin (With Pictures)."

First off, let's just stop right there. From my understanding, Wiki-How is a website that offers how-to guides for people who have questions such as "How do I do this?" or "How does this work?"

.....

I'm not sure if I should feel offended, or honored that people think twins need their own manual. Usually when I think about manuals, I think about products that read "Too hot to handle" or "Dangerous"... 

If that's the case, then carry on as you were people.

*high five*

{For those of you who haven't immediately stopped reading this blog, let's continue.}

In all honesty, dating a twin is hard. Not that I would personally know since I've never dated a twin before, but I've had a front row seat in watching guys try and date my sister. Plus, throw in my personal experience, and I feel like you could almost deem me an "expert" in this area. Believe me, I have no doubt that we all struggle with dating in general--It's kind of awkward, and it usually leaves you wanting to stuff your face with chocolate donuts. But throw in a second YOU into that already experimental mix, and LAWRD! Things get TWICE as complicated. {See what I did there...}

Usually when I meet other twins, there's an instant friendship born & we immediately dive into twin talk: how similar our experiences growing up have been, what our relationship with our sisters are like, and how there really is this weird "twin bond" we can't explain to other people...

{Like reading minds, teleporting into each other's dreams, and always waking up in matching clothes... you know, the normal stuff.}

From basic experience and conversations with my new BFFS, one thing I'm confident in is that most guys don't know how to handle "twin bonds". Listen, if you're a twin, you're really not shocked at that statement, and let's get real, neither is your therapist. {amiright or amiright} People, imagine sharing the womb with someone else--fighting for food, sleeping on each other's faces, jockeying for position to see who pops out first--ya get close. REAL CLOSE. It's hard to explain to others that type of connection you have with one another--ESPECIALLY when it's yo boyfriend/man interest/future Mr.Darcy.

Readers with "siblings" hush yo mouth. I have no doubt you're close with your brother or sister as well, but there's just something different about twins..{When you start talking to your sibling through bird cries, come talk to me.}

As twins, we've played specific roles in each other's lives since we decided to make our grand entry into the world together. Just like we were a split egg, we're now, in some ways, a split person: we balance each other out, and we need the other one to feel complete. As angry as we get when people refer to us as one person, twins know that there is truth to their statements: our identity is not found individually, but together... because we've never known one second of life without the other.

Dating a twin is hard because you're not dating one twin, but both of us.

WHOA WHOA WHOA. Let's not get any crazy ideas here; I'm still ALL about monogamous relationships. But if you're looking to date a twin, you'll just have to realize that you're also "dating" the other half as well due to the underlying twin bond you'll never be able to shake. Lucky you... 

Now, there are some limitations... I once had a boyfriend who before we hung up the phone would always say, "Tell Madison I love her." P.S this was before he even told me he loved me.... *awkward silence* SO I'm not saying you have to go THAT far, but there are some adjustments you'll have to make to how you view your relationship when it involves twins.

Which brings me back to the guide on "How To Date A Twin"... Although I applaud the author of the wiki-how article, I thought I'd give my own version of an update to help all the poor-suckers out there trying to navigate their own twinship problems.

{Get it... twins + relationships = twinship... Can we get that trending?! LOLJKLOLJK you love me.} 

But really...

#twinshipprobz

 A while back I asked some sets of twins what THEIR advice was on how to date a twin {including my own sister and I}, and compiled the list below. Here's some advice from four sets of twins to help give you a glimpse into what we think you need to know if you're wanting to date a twin.

Farrish Twins (Identical)

1. Separation Anxiety is a real thing. {Even if both of the twins are in the same city.} Be prepared for a lot of emotional text messages between twins when they're not together.

2. Embrace the fact that any story your twin tells will involve the other twin. You'll know your girlfriend's life just as well as her sister's. 

3. Some twins are attracted to the same guys, but usually not. We've shared our whole lives together, and the last thing we want to do is share a guy. So if you date one twin, don't expect to date the other one EVER.

4. Before you can even think about a serious relationship with a twin, you have to win the approval of her other half. If she says no, buh-bye--there is no chance of that relationship working out. (And you thought dads were scary...)

5. Not only do you get to deal with one twin's crazy, food-obsessed, emotional hormonal self once a month, but most likely your girl will have sympathy cramps with her sister as well--you lucky dog you.

6. If you can't tell us a part when you go through our pictures from growing up, understand we're offended, yet pleased at the same time.

7. You can't refer to us as the same person. Only we can. 

8. Don't even think about proposing without the other twin knowing what's going to happen. She needs time to prep herself for the mixed bag of emotions she'll be on that day. Understand you just locked yourself into a love-hate relationship... forever.

9. Always bring gifts to the other twin... find their weakness whether it’s cheez-its, donuts, or a bottle of wine. On any holiday, make sure and save up for a present for the other twin as well. It will score you HUGE brownie points all around.

10. When making dinner for your special twin, remember to make enough for the other twin... that way you can guarantee she’ll give you some alone time.

11. Never ask the other twin to agree with you in an argument. Even if she knows you’re right, she will always agree with her twin.

12. Just understand that there are things that you will never fully understand... like twin telepathy. (YES TWIN TELEPATHY)  

13. Be 100% sure that it's your twin before you make a move. Things get awkward all around when you put your arm around the wrong twin's waist... Trust us.

14. If the three of you are riding together in a twin's car, always know that you will be in the backseat. Always. (This might be a metaphor for the rest of life as well... MIGHT BE.) {#backseatboyfriend}

15. The love is deep with twins. Know if you hurt one, you piss off the other. We have no fear about going to jail for the sake of avenging our sister.

-Madison & Mary Beth Farrish


Waldrip Twins (Fraternal)

1. Don't worry about her twin being the third wheel, but accept the fact that you will actually always be the third wheel...

2. Also accept the fact that if her twin is currently single, you will assume all standard boyfriend responsibilities. These can include but are not limited to: loaning her your truck, helping her move, and finally killing all things creepy and crawly. Even though she is not the one you are dating, you lucked up on a two for one deal.

3. Understand that your girlfriend can talk ugly about her twin sister, but the second you have one negative thought about her, you can chalk that one up for a loss. Nobody talks about my sister... (Except me occasionally)

-Katie & Lauren Waldrip


 Swaffar Twins (Identical)

1. Make sure to do a double take before approaching for physical contact. Don't EVER approach from behind... 50% chance you've got the wrong one.

2. Stay out of twin arguments. Don't take sides. Just watch it happen.

3. You WILL like the others significant other or you're out.

4. You will probably be the third wheel more than you would care to be.

5. Don't like my sister? Then you don't like me.

6. Don't compare us. We know...

-Savanna Swaffar


Quiroga Trigo Twins (Fraternal)

1. If I don't answer my phone and you can't find me, you can call my sister and she'll know where I am and what I'm up to.

2. It can be a little disappointing when my twin is not invited to do something fun with us (unless it's a date... that would be understandable.)

3. Just embrace the fact that she knows EVERYTHING about me and will ALWAYS be on my side.

4. You'll get super extra bonus points if you do something special for her as well! (Whether it's a special occasion or not)

5. The best kind of relationships are when the twin you're not dating feels like you are one of their best guy friends as well. 

-Carolina & Valeria Quiroga Trigo

 

*Special thanks to my friends who helped with this blog! Yall are #1. Keep doing yo twin thing. *knucks*

{If you're a twin, I'd love to hear if you agree, or what your advice would be!}